Why sex and escorts are a taboo?
Sex work and escorts have always been and still are a taboo for society. A taboo society has towards sex and those who work in it. And yet… In a part of a ritual that seemed to come from the depths of antiquity, the father took his son when he reached a certain age.
There, avoiding the embarrassment of talking to his child about sex, he left it for a few hours in Athens escorts, as he left the ancient ones to the philologist and the mathematics in the tutorial. And the escort girls undertook to decode what a sexual act is and how it is done. Not with theories… In practice. In fact, very often it was a specific responsibility of the sex workers – escorts in Athens, who undertook the educational role – often very effectively – but without getting the credits.
That role is being replaced by the digital age. Or at least it comes to add an intermediate stage. And he comes to do it through pornography. The modern teen has access to countless sex-related data. Either when this is implied or it is portrayed through pornography. Our debt society does not speak to him in any other way. Therefore the role of pornography is being upgraded. Not only is it everywhere. It is that there is nothing else to talk about sex. And this can be convenient for everyone but it can also have some problems.
Of course, we will not go into puritanism about the “dirty nature” of porn. Obviously sex is not just a reproductive mechanism. It is based on pleasure and that is one of the good things about porn. Things for which I would not trust so much the legendary “sex education lesson”, which we all consider the only solution, but which I fear will be done in a sterile framework of knowledge that no student will be concerned. So the bad thing about porn education is that it does not represent sex in a ‘kinky’ (ok, boomer) way. The problem is that many times it has nothing to do with reality precisely because that was not his role from the beginning.
The excesses of porn
Porn was not made and is not made, to educate. It is also not made for teenagers. Even if we all formally know that it is addressed to them as well. Many times for adults and sexually active people it works as a side effect. Those who have had sex know that pornography is essentially – talking about professional pornography – a cartoonish version of reality. It is based on things that do happen but are usually overdone. And that, if you are a sexually mature person, you can easily distinguish it and live nicely and well with both.
But when you are a teenager, things change. The representations of sex through porn are almost the only representations you have. At 15 you see tall men with big cock (shame but I could not write ‘penis’) having sex with women with fit bodies and huge breasts. And teenagers – just being teenagers – are anatomically unable to reach their standards. And this fills them with new guilt and personal stress. The teenager’s anxiety about his / her sexuality is obviously not new. However, that “maybe I’m not good enough” becomes a certainty.
On the other hand, there is the even more fundamental problem that concerns the position of women in this whole industry. Too often we believe that the wild sex of porn is that it automatically underestimates women. But the issue does not come with wild sex itself. Switching power roles is a normal and (why not?) Equal process for the couple.
The point is, in pornography this is rarely associated with equality. Unfortunately, too often in a sexist society anyway, porn stars are very often stigmatized. The whole sex drive often turns into a hatred against them (and obviously mainly against female porn stars). Take for example what is happening to Mia Khalifa and how much hatred she has been experiencing on all sides of the internet since she decided to leave the porn industry. As she had pointed out, the countries that click on her the most are the countries that hate her the most. Why; But obviously also because those who click have a belief that they are doing something bad and associate their protagonists with this evil.
And last but not least, the consensus. Pornography is made in a specific context. It lasts a specific time. The script matters but up to a point. In the cartoonish representation of reality from pornography, consent is a given. Various hypersexual beings – or they are men or women are ready to give to the other person. Without the need for any communication, without even asking for consent indirectly. It is taken for granted that it exists. And that obviously has to do with the non-educational role that porn creators have. Ok, we are in pornography. And I would not like to see a 40 minute video with a guy eating noodles. The point, however, is that this does not become clear to the teenager who enters a mood of ignorance of the most important issue concerning real sex life. And this is nothing but consensus.
In a digital society like ours, roles have been reversed. Many times for teenagers (and not only) instead of porn being a simulation of reality becomes reality a simulation of pornography. And it’s not exactly the pornography that is to blame. It is that our sex-obsessed society has given pornography an education role it has never claimed. So moving the New Zealand government is ultimately in the right direction. Since sex is still something we are ashamed of, let the sex professionals take it upon themselves to teach the next generations. Only this time they have to understand that they have this role as well. And maybe next to that comes the famous sex education in schools.
Porn stars and especially escorts call girls start talking about their work. And they do very well. Their public role is very basic, as is the role of the people in the process. Stoya writes, Mia Khalifa very often makes public speeches. Shasha Gray too. It’s time, then, for porn stars to take on their public role. What they do is ultimately very, very important.